Mother Teresa

6 Guaranteed Ways to Make Your Husband Happy by Jessica Gemeinhart

1. Offer your unwavering support.

In a 2014 research study conducted by The Austin Institute, women were more likely to be unhappy in marriage than men. Rather than explore what our expectations are in marriage and our reactions to them, we tend to do things like nag or correct, or stop dreaming all together so that we are never disappointed. Perhaps we even do things like accuse our husbands of being "black holes of joy."

As moms and wives, we like to fix things and to alleviate discomfort. One of our tasks in marriage is to help reveal God's glory in our spouses, and this comes by encouragement and support. This can be verbal or silent, but what's most important is that your husband knows that he has your unwavering support.

2. Identify what you love about your husband.

How do you share that with him? How do you see Christ in his life? Bless him by naming that and pointing it out when it happens.

Men want to know if they have what it takes to successfully engage the world. Most of the men I know, including my husband, benefit immensely from a good woman's belief that they can enter a world of futility and push back some thorns.

3. Share your expectations.

I cringe to think about how many times I have hurt my husband by either correcting everything he does or by not expressing my disappointment.

Husbands and dads cannot read minds. He needs you to share with him. He also needs you to approach him with a gentle strength. How would you want to hear that he is disappointed with you?

Many times we expect perfection from our spouses, so we get mad when he doesn't fill the dishwasher the way we want him to. Other times, we don't expect anything, so we lay out clothes for the kids when he's dressing them because we don't think he knows how. Neither of those approaches really calls a husband to more.

Instead, be vocal and clear about your expectations. And offer feedback. If you don't see eye-to-eye, then make a compromise.

4. Encourage him to be more.

Ask God for insight into how He is developing your husband.

Ask God, "How are you revealing your glory, your redemption, your image, in my spouse?" Don't concentrate on what he isn't, or what you think he should be, or what you see in your neighbors' stories. Concentrate on what could be in him. There are normally three different plans of action for this.

• Some wives need to sit down with their husbands and express their sadness over his frequency of work or lack of engagement with their children. In this case, I encourage you to take the approach of what the experience is like for you rather than what he needs to fix. Then have courage to wait for his response. Warning: sometimes the wait is hard so pray for perseverance.
  
  

• Other wives might need to examine their own motives. Are you worried that because your husband works so much your friends might think you have problems? Do you refuse to have hobbies or friends so your husband can't? That's about you. Repent of those and ask for how you can rest in God's presence, in who God created you to be and in your marriage.
  
  

• Then there are some of us who might need to back off a little. Perhaps we need to let go of some things so that it allows our husbands to engage more. Maybe those dishes can wait one more night. Or maybe we can admit our anxiety about risk to free our husbands up for sharing as well. You may even begin to dream together about what marriage and fatherhood could be like.

5. Invite your husband to dream with you.

I know this may sound silly, but trust me, more wives need to whole-heartedly share their thoughts, dreams and desires with their husbands.

You are the best thing to give your husband. For whatever reason, you are the one God chose to be his wife. When you hold back your desires and thoughts, he loses. Invite him to dream with you. Scripture tells us that in God's kingdom, men have visions and dreams. They have hope. What are you hoping for? Share it. Work together for a common goal.

6. Avoid the "clanging-cymbal" approach.

Being a supportive, encouraging wife means you are compelled by love.

But if we do not have love, we're just clanging cymbals. To have love, you yourself must know God's love. And you must know it as caring and compelling. It is a risky one that changes us. Trust your husband to the Lord. And love him.

​https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/how-wives-can-show-love-to-their-husbands

Husbands, 8 Admonitions to Love Your Wife

from William Boekestein Jun 10, 2019

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” (Col. 3:19, NKJV)

When God says, “Husbands, love your wives,” he speaks of the woman as a complex being. He calls every man to love his whole wife just as every man loves his whole self (Eph. 5:29). This means that a husband must do all he can to understand his wife’s world. What follows are eight admonitions to love our wives with respect to their various facets.

1. Love Her Heart—Emotional Love

The Bible uses the word “love” over 350 times. Almost 10% of these times are in the Song of Solomon (which comprises less than 0.5 percent of Scripture). One thing we learn from this is that a husband should use words to express his love for his wife. “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! O my dove…let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely” (Song 2:10). I know of no woman who wouldn’t love to hear her husband speak to her like that.

2. Love Her Mind—Intellectual Love

A loving husband graciously convinces his wife that, to him, she is the most important person in the world. By this I don’t mean that he persuades her that he will never leave her. That’s not good enough, of course. Does your wife know that you value her above all else? Intellectual love also means engaging your wife’s mind. Many men win the hand of their future wife by thoughtful, engaging, conversation. Too many men fail to take this habit into marriage.

3. Love Her Body—Physical Love

At the most basic level, by physical love a husband strives to meet his wife’s physical needs. An able man who consistently chooses not to provide for the physical needs of his wife does not love her. At the same time, men must help their wives steward God’s provisions in order to maximize their earnings.

Physical love is also complimentary. Your wife needn’t be a supermodel to receive regular, sincere, compliments. Physical love must be exclusive. Taking second looks at other women or carrying on about their beauty is destructive. Each man must strive to please his own wife (1 Cor. 7:3,33)

4. Love Her Soul—Spiritual Love

Men tend to be task-oriented. But often we neglect one of our greatest responsibilities; the cultivation of godliness in our wives. We need to become comfortable with the phrase, “as for me and my house” (Josh. 24:14-15). Joshua understood that as a covenant head, his choices had a profound impact of those under his care. He must always think of the spiritual good of his dependents.

This means making thoughtful, prayerful, decisions, even if they are unpopular. “We are going to church today even though that woman verbally hurt you last week. We must have family worship even with our busy schedule.” These are expressions of love.

5. Love Her Relationships—Relational Love

For couples with children, relational love may require a husband to protect his wife from her “closest relatives.” Be swift and firm to discipline children for disrespecting mom. Resist contradicting her in front of the children. Give her “time off” when necessary. Outside of the home, develop an interest in her friends. Help her to focus on friends that are best for her.

6. Love Her Humanity—Realistic Love

Be tender in your wife’s failures. She needs to know that you love her even if you are saddened by her sin. Be grateful that she is different than you. A loving husband sees his wife as God’s gift to him even if she is not perfect.

7. Love Her Calling—Supportive Love

If a wife’s greatest calling is to be submissive to her husband (Col. 3:18), a loving husband helps his wife to be submissive. Some wives never learn biblical submission because their husbands rarely set a positive example. They fight against the council of the church. They speak blasphemously of civil authorities. They complain about their employer’s policies. Yet they demand full submission from their wives. God says, all men must submit to proper authority (Rom. 13:1). You can hardly help your wife do this if you aren’t doing it yourself.

8. Love Her Maker—Theological Love

Ultimately, we are loveless because we love ourselves more than we love God and are dissatisfied with God’s provision. This means that the more you love God the better equipped you will be to truly love your wife.

By his matchless grace, God draws us to love him and empowers us to love others. Matthew Henry notes that the epistles which focus most on the glory of divine grace, and the majesty of the Lord Jesus, “are the most particular…in pressing the duties of the several relations.” The gospel is the good news that the Son of God “loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal. 2:20). Christ loves the whole Christian–heart, mind, body, soul–and every other part. Only as we come to terms with what that means will we be able to obey God’s word. “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”