What is God's Love Language?

A wonderful book by Gary Chapman declares that we all have a “love language.” A way that we feel and express love. My love languages are physical touch and the giving of gifts. So shower me with kisses and gifts, and you have made my day. When we find out the love language of our friends and family, we know how best to show love to them. But what about God? What is His love language?

As I was studying the Bible, it states, "If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15). It also says, “Whoever claims to love God, yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen” (1 John 4:20). These and other verses throughout the Bible show me that God has two love languages. One is obedience and the second is loving others. That does not discount praise, thankfulness, and giving. I have already shared my love languages, but I do also enjoy hearing a compliment, getting help from my husband, and feel loved when my friends want to spend time with me. Though the love languages of kind words, service, and time are valuable, if I don’t have physical touch or gifts, I may not feel loved. I do believe God appreciates our praise and thanksgiving, but above all, He wants us to trust and obey Him and love those around us.

Obedience can be such a distasteful word. We may feel like someone is lording over us, treating us like a child, or taking away our rights. Understandable, there are some people who would take advantage of us, or use us, or would not handle power rightly. Yet, in a safe and peaceful society, we do have to obey. We have to obey laws, the rules at our jobs, our teachers in school, those in authority like police officers and parents. There are parameters in place to keep those in authority from not taking advantage of us. God is DIFFERENT. He already is perfect, all loving, all knowing. He knows what tomorrow brings. He knows what will make us happy, healthy, wise, and more like Him. Yes, the Bible is filled with “rules.” Some are meant for certain times and traditions. Other laws are guidelines for daily life, for anyone who wants to be the best they can be for themselves and for those around them. They are not rules that bring us down, demanding our allegiance as mere slaves. On the contrary, they lift us up out of our circumstances, to a higher state of being. God says in Isaiah, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (55:8-9). The world has its own way to live, a dog eat dog kind of life. God wants us to be, “holy as [He] is holy” (1 Peter 1:16).

In the Old Testament, God had rescued the nation of Israel from a tyrannical pharaoh in Egypt. He wanted to fulfill His promise to Abraham (the forefather of the nation of Israel) by giving them a land of their own. After performing numerous miracles right in front of their eyes, when it came time to fight for their land, most of the people became frightened and did not trust God to help them do it. It got so bad, they almost got rid of Moses and headed back to Egypt, willing to be slaves again. God was so frustrated that they would not trust Him, after everything He had done, He had them walk around in the wilderness for 40 years. A whole generation did not see the promised land because they would not trust and obey. Before we get too upset at Israel, are we any different? Has God told you to give up something, a bad habit, a sin, a vice? Has He asked you to trust Him in what seems like an impossible feat? If God has told you to do something, then do it. Trust Him. Matthew 19:26 states, “but with God all things are possible.” Just like the Israelites, What blessings are you missing out on because you have not obeyed God?

When we obey God, we are showing Him, we trust Him to know what is best in our lives. We rely on His wisdom and foresight to guide us. We realize we don’t know it all. When we obey, we not only acknowledge His amazing attributes, but we honor Him.

Next, God says if we have trouble loving people, how can we love Him? God doesn’t mince words. He goes directly to our hearts. My pastor, Andy Lake, taught us that according to God’s Word, we are all made in the image of God. Because I am in the image of God, I don’t lie, because God can not lie. I don’t steal or gossip, or put people down, because God doesn’t steal, gossip, or put people down. Also, all the other people of this world are also made in the image of God. I won’t hurt them, because I won’t hurt God. I won’t envy them, because I wouldn’t envy God. That kind of thinking brings us to a point of respect, so that even if someone is different from me, I can still respect them. When I love others, even those who are hard to love or even like, I show love to God, for His creation, for His will. Jesus says in John 3:16, “For God so love the world…” If God loves the world, I can do no less.

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